


Chasernapped!! – An Epic Chaser Girls Adventure

by Sashataakheru



Category: Australian Comedy RPF, The Chaser RPF
Genre: Abduction, D/s, Drag Queens, Genderswap, Kidnapping, Multi, Whipping, crackfic, spice girls AU, super groups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-29
Updated: 2008-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-03 09:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Chaser Girls are the most famous drag group EVAH! Until ZOMG! Ebil!Rove kidnaps the Chaser Girls and demands retribution! D:</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasernapped!! – An Epic Chaser Girls Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This was originally inspired by a Spice Girls/No Doubt fic I wrote 15+ years ago that clearly was never going to be as awesome as this reincarnation.  
> 2) Also inspired by [this photomanip by KT](http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/7203/thespicechaserlololcs1.jpg).  
> 3) This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever written. Enjoy!

All was calm in the Chaser Girls headquarters. They’d just finished their epically awesome world tour, where they’d travelled as far as Adelaide before retiring hurt to hide away from the bogans, freaks and the screaming horde of twelve year old girls literally flinging themselves at them wherever they went. It was a good year for the portable catapult market. Andrew, the most fragile of the Girls and the most popular, though no one could quite work out why, hadn’t been the same. Her fans had swamped her in Melbourne and had left her in need of counselling. She hadn’t left their headquarters since they returned. It was up to Posh to keep her company; she would see no one else.

She was curled up in her room now, crying as she tried to forget the screaming. Chris held her, unsure what else to say. It was February, not that it mattered. They’d been in hiding for seven months now, and had refused all media contact.

“It’ll stop one day, won’t it?” Andrew whispered, clutching onto Chris.

“It will, baby, just believe it. You’ll be alright soon,” Chris said.

“I hope so. I don’t want these nightmares anymore,” Andrew said.

“I wish you’d settle. I hate how you don’t sleep. It worries me,” Chris said.

“I know it does. I try, I really do, but I just can’t face my dreams anymore,” Andrew said.

“You’ll get better. You have to get better,” Chris said, holding her close.

Andrew clung to her and began crying again, trying to push the nightmares out of her head.

 

Craig was reclining in their rec room, trying to nap. This was proving difficult. Chas and Julian were playing a rather noisy game of pool that somehow required stripping and throwing things at each other. Craig sat up and looked over to where they were. Half naked, Julian was currently being pinned to the pool table while Chas clambered over her in a bid to make some sort of trick shot to win the game.

“Must you two be so noisy?” Craig said, glaring at them.

“Oi, you wanna nap, go to your room. This is communal space, dipshit,” Chas said, turning back to line up her shot again.

“That doesn’t give you license to strip and maul each other either,” Craig countered.

“Craig, please, no one gives a shit,” Chas said.

Craig frowns at her but doesn’t bother arguing further. Instead, she sighs and leaves, heading off to the kitchens to find something to eat. Chas cursed at her missed shot and peeled off the tiny dress she was wearing. Julian pushed her off and smirked, as they were now both half-naked. Chas wasn't beaten yet, though. This was her game and she wouldn't be beaten.

 

In a scary-looking warehouse somewhere on the east coast, hidden behind some legitimate business name, a group of angry men made their plans. The room they were in was bare and dark, lit only by a couple of ceiling lamps. They sit around an old card table, playing poker and drinking beer.

“They’re going down. They’re vulnerable, trapped inside that building of theirs. All we need to do is herd them into one part of the building, go in and grab them and take them back here. We’ll have our revenge, don’t you worry about that,” Rove said, clutching his cards close to his chest. He thought it undignified that as the leader of their failed singing group he was still shithouse at poker. At least he and his men had never pranced around in stupid frocks.

“How are the four of us supposed to get the seven of them?” Hamish said.

“I’ve got some mates. They’ll help out for a cut of the ransom,” Rove said.

“So we shelved the idea of luring them onto your show and grabbing them then?” Andy said.

“We did, yes, because it’d never work. It’d bring too much publicity to us. No, we need to do this quietly. No one will know they’re gone anyway. We can make it look like they’re still in there, but all the while, we’re getting what’s due and by the time their bodies are found, no one will care anymore. It’ll just be us and no one else,” Rove said.

“So, how soon can we move then?” Pete said.

“Tonight. Everything’s prepared. One call and our back-up will meet us there. Then we go in and grab them,” Rove said.

“So how do we get in then?” Hamish said.

“Got that covered too. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it all when we get there. Let’s finish this game and head on our way,” Rove said.

With murmured words of praise, they continued their game, counting down the seconds until they could go.

 

Chris had managed to coax Andrew out for dinner that evening. She was still shaken, but felt better once she had some food in her belly. She was skittish around the others, but Chris’ presence calmed her down. Dinner comprised of a lamb roast, fabulously cooked for them by their personal chef. Chris had insisted on dressing up for dinner and had turned up in his favourite red corset outfit, as if somehow dinner was supposed to be some sort of sexual affair. Andrew at least was able to laugh at that, which Chris had to concede was better than nothing.

“You doing alright, Andrew?” Craig said.

“Getting there. Something’s not right though. Got a bad feeling about tonight. Might want to leave the mansion,” Andrew said.

“What makes you say that?” Craig said.

“Dunno, just a feeling. Maybe I’m just being silly. Don’t mind me. I’ll be alright,” Andrew said, trying to dismiss their attention.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Craig said.

Andrew wasn’t quite sure, but didn’t say so. Besides, she had better things to do than worry about vague gut feelings.

 

Charles and Dom had missed dinner. They had been too busy down in the basement playing to hear the call. Charles was currently stalking around poor Dom who had been secured in a set of stocks. A whip trailed along Dom’s skin, making him shiver. They were just about done. A whipping always finished their playtime.

“Can we stop now, Master? I think I need you to take care of these wounds,” Dom said.

“Alright then. You did well. I hope I didn’t hurt you too badly,” Charles said as she knelt down to release him.

“No more than usual. Hey, did that look like headlights to you?” Dom said as a bright light temporarily flooded through the small windows at the top of the walls. “We aren’t expecting visitors are we?”

“Uh, not that I know of. Come on, I’ll get those wounds looked after. If it’s the media, well, they won’t get in here. Safest basement ever,” Charles said as she helped Dom to her feet.

The light and potential visitors were dismissed as Dom had her wounds tended to. She lay down on a bench and waited for Charles to work her magic.

 

Dave, Wil and Adam waited outside the mansion, huddled together in a white van. They should’ve been paying attention to the mansion, but Wil and Adam's attention had been thrown elsewhere, mainly at each other. They were kissing fiercely, trying to make the most of the situation. The back door of their van opened, surprising them, as Rove peered inside.

“Well, I can see you two are prepared,” Rove said.

“Give us a minute. It’s not like they ever leave, so what’s there to worry about?” Wil said.

“That’s not the point and you know it. Now get out. We’ve got work to do,” Rove said, gesturing outside the van.

Reluctantly, they tidied themselves up and got out of the van, following Rove back to his own van where the rest were waiting for instruction.

“So what's the plan? How do we get in there anyway?” Hamish said.

“There's a service entry around the back. We'll sneak in there,” Rove said.

“If you say so. What then?” Hamish said.

“We split up and cut the power. We find them and force them into the central rec room on the ground floor. From there, we sneak them out and into the vans and drive back to the warehouse. Got it?” Rove said. “Now get ready and we'll get moving.”

There were murmurs of acquiecense as they grabbed their gear from the vans and got ready to go. Rove gazed over to the mansion and hoped to hell their plan worked.

 

The house went dark. Chas and Julian paused mid-pool game, wondering what was going on. Craig had been showering and the sudden darkness was most disconcerting. Chris and Andrew had been talking in Andrew's room. Charles and Dom were still in the basement, the door thankfully locked to intruders.

Everyone froze.

 

The service entrance had been too easy to get into. The chef had been knocked out and killed, leaving them free to invade as they pleased. They split up now. Rove, Pete and Dave snuck off towards the left, while Hamish and Andy headed off to the right. Wil and Adam went forward through the house, wondering where they might find everyone.

 

Charles and Dom decided they might want to leave the mansion. They'd heard whispered voices and shiffled feet above them. Something wasn't right at all. They should escape.

Having dressed already, Charles unlocked the one passageway that led from the basement to the outside world and led him out. The night was cool and dark, but no one appeared to be around. They stuck to the shadows, not wanting their escape to be seen.

“What should we do now?” Dom whispered.

“We get out of here. The sooner we're not here, the better. We can get help,” Charles said.

“Shouldn't we wait til we know who we're dealing with?” Dom said.

“Where can we hide then?” Charles said.

“Uhh, over there. Look, there's a nice dark shadow there we can hide in. I doubt we'd be seen there. We're not in their line of sight at all,” Charles said.

“Okay, and hey, at least there's a wall to hide behind as well. Assuming we keep quiet, they'll never know we're there,” Dom said.

Their plan agreed to, they slipped over to the dark wall and crouched behind it. They kept low, wanting to wait until they could hear people in the streets before they went to look.

 

The door burst open and Hamish and Andy turned their torchlight onto Chris and Andrew, cowering in the dark.

“You two, on your feet. Go on. Don't fight us. We'll kill you if necessary,” Hamish said.

Andrew was too scared to move. Chris had to pull her to her feet and guide her out the door as Hamish made sure his rifle was visibly pointing at them.

They headed towards the rec room, where Chas and Julian were already tied up and gagged, Pete, Rove and Dave guarding them viciously.

“That all you found? Where are the others?” Rove said.

“We're searching a large mansion for seven people in the dark. How easy do you expect this to be?” Hamish said.

“Tie them up. Then go and look again. I want them all here now,” Rove said.

Chris and Andrew found themselves tied to Julian and Chas, unsure what was going to happen to them. All the work Andrew had done to get closer to a normal state of being had been blown away in an instant. Andrew was close to losing his mind, and Chris couldn't even comfort him.

 

Craig wrapped a towel around his waist and peered outside the bathroom door. He grinned nervously as he saw Adam and Wil walking towards him.

“H-hi guys, what brings you here?” Craig said.

“Shut up, bitch. You're coming with us,” Adam said.

“Can I at least get dressed first?” Craig said, walking out to show them he was practically naked.

“Alright, but be quick. And you can give me a blowjob first,” Adam said.

“Is it normal for victims to give their kidnappers blowjobs?” Craig said, gesturing him inside.

“It is now,” Adam said.

Craig smirked and knelt as Adam unzipped his fly and got his cock out. Wil stayed by the door and kept watch. Adam gasped as Craig swallowed him, getting to work quickly. Suitably distracted, Craig landed a blow to his groin, punching hard as she made a bid to escape. Adam doubled over and Craig grabbed his rifle, keeping it aimed at him as she weighed up the choices she had. After a moment's thought she shot his thigh, hoping it'd slow him down. Wil was looking in at them, unsure what to do as Craig aimed the gun at him.

“Get out of my way. I'm getting out of here,” Craig said, grabbing her clothes in her free hand.

Wil wasn't fast enough. Craig shot his shoulder as she fled, taking the gun with her. She went out the first exit he found and didn't stop until she found the small wall Charles and Dom happened to be hiding behind.

“Craig. Uh, what are you doing here? Why have you got a gun?” Charles said.

“Charlie. Uh. We were being terrorised. I managed to escape. Hold this while I get dressed, will you?” Craig said, handing over the rifle.

“Jesus. I hope the others are alright,” Charles said.

“Me too. I didn't see the others, so I can't say where they are,” Craig said as she dressed. She was annoyed she didn't have clean clothes, but they would have to do. She couldn't just run in and get more.

“So what do we do now?” Dom said.

“We wait and watch them come out. If I'd had someone with me, I'd have taken the two idiots I shot hostages, but I was naked and alone so I fled instead. Ugh,” Craig said as she slipped the shirt on over her head. Upon reflection, she hated this outfit. It was hideous. The pants were all wrong and the shirt had far too many frills. She couldn't even remember why she'd picked it.

“Well then, we wait and see what happens,” Charles said.

 

Rove wasn't happy. Adam and Wil had staggered back, bleeding, and they didn't bear good news. Craig had escaped and there was no trace of Charles and Dom. Should he try and find the others or cut his loses and take what he had? Besides, he could still bargain with four.

“Right, get them up. We're taking them and getting out of here before this turns into even more of a mess,” Rove said.

Chas, Julian, Chris and Andrew were hauled to their feet and shunted out the door. They slowly made their way to the vans as Hamish tried to support both Wil and Adam.

 

“I think I hear something!” Charles hissed as he heard voices.

They peered over the wall and saw Rove and his men leding their friends out. Craig wasn't pleased at this development.

“Gimme the gun!” Craig hissed, taking it from Charles. Perching the barrel on the top of the wall she took aim.

“Be careful!” Charles said.

“Shh! I'm concentrating!”

Craig had a few potential targets. She had to do this properly. She probably only had two good shots before she spooked them and they ran. But where to aim?

With a flash of inspiration, she had her targets. She smiled as she took aim and fired four quick rounds at them. The right people were hit. Rove fell to the ground, dead. Hamish grabbed at Andy as they both wondered where the gun had come from, and Pete lay there, clutching his stomach.

“Jules, come on, get moving you guys!” Chas said, trying to get Andrew to move.

Andrew was scared enough to let Chas do her thinking for her, and soon they were running off as best they could, still being tied together. Craig, Charles and Dom emerged from behind the wall, certain the danger was over.

“You guys alright?” Craig said as she ran over to them.

“Yeah, I think so. Well, apart from Andrew,” Chris said once the gags had been removed.

Craig and Charles did their best to remove the bindings, finally finding a blade to cut the ropes with. Andrew collapsed into Chris' arms once she was free, sobbing uncontrollably. Chris held her tight, words failing her. What could she say to make her alright again?

“What should we do about them?” Julian said.

“Get them help. They're in no position to do anything to us now,” Chas said.

“I think we'll need to move. I don't think Andrew will want to be inside there again,” Chris said.

“We'll deal with that later. Take care of her, Chris,” Craig said.

“Don't worry, I will. I might take her to her mother's house. She might find it easier to calm down there. Keep us posted, yeah?” Chris said.

“Will do. Catch you later,” Craig said.

Still clutching onto her, Andrew settled at the plan to go to her mother. Chris pressed a kiss to her forehead as she ushered her away to the car.

Craig watched them go as they headed over to the injured would-be kidnappers. Chas was on the phone already, calling for help. Craig hadn't aimed to kill anyone, so the fact that she had hurt badly. She knelt down beside Rove and shut his eyelids. She was willing to take her punishment for it, if anyone felt the need to charge her.

“This is a right mess, isn't it?” Chas said. She shivered. She had just realised she was still topless from their game of strip pool, as was Julian, and the cool night air was beginning to make its presence felt.

“Yeah, just a bit. Got lucky, that's what. Let's get security at the next place, and let's not make it quite so big,” Julian said.

“Good plan,” Chas said, huddling into him.


End file.
